Showing posts with label extending welcome. Show all posts
Showing posts with label extending welcome. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 28, 2020

Mental Health Resources and Tips for Election Week

Friends, This next week is going to be one of the most stressful and uncertain times for many in our nation. We have election stress on top of pandemic stress, which includes caregiver stress, economic stress, and isolation. In addition, many people who belong to one or more marginalized groups in our country are genuinely concerned about their basic human rights and safety, especially depending on how the election turns out. Here are some things you can do, starting now, to help:
1. Gather and share important mental health resources: The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255 and suicidepreventionlifeline.org. Also, look up and share the mental health hotline for your state. For example, I live in Iowa, so it's http://yourlifeiowa.org, which includes a 24/7 call, text, and chat box options with a live person. It's a crisis line as well as information and referral service--and they will connect you to a counseling agency near the caller's location. It covers suicide/ depression, problem gambling, and substance misuse. All of these could go up significantly in coming weeks; they have been steadily increasing since the pandemic started. (If you can't find your local info, Iowa is part of the reciprocal crisis line network, so you can contact them and get to your state's information if needed).
2. Publicize this resource information in your circles/ contexts. Think beyond social media--get this into your church/ congregation's bulletins and newsletters throughout the next month.
3. Please don't post any jokes or statements about needing to drink alcohol or consume substances to cope with whatever may be happening over the next few weeks. Gently encourage friends to take down posts like this if  you see them. Over-consuming alcohol and other substances will exacerbate symptoms of anxiety and depression. This can help save lives--the potential for overdose is real.
4. Encourage patience and calm related to the election over the next few weeks. It will likely take more time than usual to count up and certify the ballots, especially with higher than usual turnouts and pandemic precautions. Encourage your people to take any early news reports 'with a grain of salt.' Repeat these messages of patience and calm routinely throughout the ballot counting process.
5. Help ensure everyone in your circles (all the folks listed above) is able to vote if they want to vote, in any way you are able: offer rides, share how and where to go to vote, call them up and ask if they've voted or want to vote if eligible. Make sure they know to have any required documents with them (check your state/ local policies).
6. Tell your people (friends, family, neighbors, coworkers, students, congregation) that you love them no matter what happens; that you are here for them; that they are not alone; that you will help them however you can if they are afraid, upset, lonely, hurting. Tell them you are willing to advocate for them and accompany them if they are part of one or more marginalized groups that may face additional burdens depending on the election results (and be prepared to act on that offer if asked).
7. Think of who among your people may have a particularly hard time following the election, and make a list now of who to call and check in on. Help them create a safety plan if needed. For example, I have a child who is transgender and multiracial and hasn't been doing well since November 2016--and I will be in full Mama Bear mode until I know we're out of the woods.
8. Tend to your own selves as well: what do you need to cope safely through these next few weeks? Prepare those things. Consider taking extra time off when you can do so. Share the load of caregiving among your congregation/ context by forming a team, if such a team doesn't already exist.
I know this is a lot. These are unprecedented times. What matters most in these coming weeks is that we all stay alive, stay safe, and stay healthy.
Please feel free to share/ copy/ paste/ adapt; and I welcome additional suggestions/ feedback.
Peace to you, and thank you.

Sunday, January 19, 2020

Red Caps: How to Help Christians Love Again

Friends,

A clergy colleague noted the rise of men wearing red 'Make America Great Again' caps to their church and in worship, and that it used to be considered disrespectful for men to wear any sort of hat indoors, let alone at church or in Christian worship services.

I would like to start by acknowledging that the tradition of men removing their hats in worship is a Christian custom; other world religions often either allow men to cover their heads in worship, or sometimes even require it as a sign of reverence and respect. Similarly, many religions including Christianity still require or allow women to cover their heads in worship--a practice common in nearly all U.S. congregations up until this previous generation, and perhaps now a custom best preserved in the U.S. in the African-American Christian churches, as well as in many southern states; as well as in Orthodox and Catholic congregations. While my present ministry context is ecumenical and interfaith cooperation, today I write as a white Christian pastor to other white Christian pastors.

I would also mention that in my time as a pastor, it has fallen out of custom for most men of middle and older ages to wear a hat in public at all, except in our rural areas where farmers often sport the vented-back 'seed caps.'  The issue of hats being worn in church in the past few decades has been mostly about young men wearing baseball-style caps indoors, in the church building, to youth group, and in the sanctuary.

In such cases, I have generally advocated for welcome of the young man, cap and all, and perhaps a gentle word after a relationship of welcoming trust is built to remind them of the custom of removing caps. In time, they may do so. However, a young person harshly scolded about an apparent lack of manners would be unlikely to return to church.

However, I believe the 'MAGA' hats are different. In this case, it is not about wearing a hat at all, but the message that is being conveyed. First of all, they are often worn by men long accustomed to attending that congregation's worship service. Wearing a MAGA hat to church is akin to wearing a swastika in church (which many 'good, upstanding, patriotic' German men did do in their swastika-draped churches in the 30s and 40s).

The 'MAGA' hat conveys a very specific message: that only white, straight, presumably Christian people are welcome and have full human value. It is designed to intimidate people of color, immigrants, LGBTQ+ persons, people with disabilities, and other groups of people who have been made targets of the Trump campaign and resulting government. Not only have these groups of people suffered under the policies of this administration, but people within these groups have been singled out in public places and suffered physical violence by supporters of this ideology.

As such, the MAGA red cap doesn't belong in our churches, where our sanctuaries are designed to be places of welcome and love for all people, as equally beloved children of a loving Creator. I do not think it too strong to say that proclaiming this ideology defiles the sanctuary and is an affront to the teachings of Jesus. While likely costly do to do, this requires a vigorous pastoral and church leadership response to preserve the integrity of the sanctuary.

Now, a 'vigorous' response is not the same as a shaming or publicly humiliating response.  There are several reasons for this: the MAGA hat is an emotionally charged symbol, as seen in the Trump rallies which rely on whipping up an intense fervor among the crowds with hateful rhetoric towards the marginalized people in our society, the media, and any source of opposition.  Some people, who have fully embraced this ideology, may respond in hostile, perhaps even aggressive ways if confronted in a humiliating manner. Or they may leave the congregation--which should not be a fear of losing numbers or 'household giving units,' but of that person's need to be in a transformative community that actively proclaims and practices love--just as a lost sheep requires the searching out of a Good Shepherd and a return to a safe flock.

I believe there are also those who wear the MAGA cap and are not as prone to overt bigotry as others who proudly display it--just as happened with some who wore the swastika on their arm or lapel in Nazi Germany. Certainly there are those who personally agree with the white nationalist ideology behind the cap, but would not personally engage in violence against the minority groups mentioned above, and may even find the suggestion of violence appalling. Persons in this group might say, "I don't like (Jews/ Muslims/ Blacks/ Gays/ Foreigners), but I wouldn't go out and hurt anyone"

I believe there are also those who wear the MAGA cap and do not personally associate with (or maybe even realize) the white nationalist ideology behind the red cap, but believe that by wearing it, they are supporting conservatism in general, conservative economic policy, old-fashioned American values and morals, or are of a more traditional persuasion.  This may be particularly true of people who grew up, say, well before the sexual revolution and drug culture beginning in the 60s and 70s, and desire to return to what appeared to be a simpler time. This, too, was a hallmark in its own day of Nazi propaganda. Persons in this group might say, "But he's done so much for our economy," or "our country has gotten way too liberal and nowadays anything goes."

I believe there also is yet another group, those who do not strongly identify with or care much at all about the while nationalist identity behind the red cap much at all, yet do so in order to feel a sense of belonging or camaraderie, perhaps because family and friends are much more heavily involved; perhaps in order to feel a sense of purpose or power; or perhaps simply to appease or maintain appearances with business associates and dominant trends in the local community. This may be a form of self-preservation, also a common factor in Nazi Germany (think of the early scenes depicting Oskar Schindler preparing for an evening of wooing a military contract). People in this group might say, "It's the price of doing business," or "Everyone I know is wearing one, so I might as well too."

These are all important perspectives to understand from a pastoral standpoint, and along with our depth of relationship with the parishioner, they may impact how we approach our response. Interventions must come from a place of grace-filled love for the person, preferably accompanied by friends of the person at church who understand the concerns at hand and also can bring about compassionate change in the individual.

Still, the symbol of the red cap and its MAGA slogan cannot be unmarried from the cause of white nationalism, or the active persecution of minority groups. The symbol and this meaning are so prevalent and reinforced that it is firmly cemented in the present day and for years into the future.  This may need to be made clear to anyone who wears the red cap with intentions other than overt bigotry: it may well be read as a call to arms. Others may associate them with the most violent stream within the MAGA movement--either to avoid them, or to join them, perhaps believing the wearer may support another's attempt at more aggressive repression of the targeted groups.

A person wearing the red cap may or may not be persuaded by this reasoning--such as a person opposed to violence. For others, it may be more practical to also employ a building-wide strategy, such as reminders to remove all hats upon entering the building or sanctuary. Ushers may do well to assist with politely saying, "remember, hats off, please," which may appeal to those motivated by tradition and custom. A gentle reminder in the bulletin or from the lectern before worship begins may also be in order. However, I would avoid doing this from the pulpit during a sermon--a more emotionally-laden time which can unwittingly invite a more hostile response.

A congregation may also choose to go a step further, along the lines of the 'Hate Has No Home Here" campaign. If cap-wearing stubbornly persists, then other creative measures may be taken, such as caps bearing peaceful slogans. We are fortunate to be at a point in our history where such creative resistance is possible.

In such cases, I also recommend congregational peacemaker (nonviolence) training, so that participants know not to shame or humiliate their opponents, which rarely leads to good outcomes. Peacemaker training is also helpful for defusing tense or escalating arguments, which may also occur when a red cap is worn in the sanctuary, or really any other divisive issue (even choosing a new hymnal or carpet).

Tensions can escalate, though, and it's important that words and actions be chosen carefully. Pastors have certainly been forced from their pulpits for less; houses of worship have certainly been shot up, bombed, or burned for similar issues. It may seem easier to not confront the issue at all. In some particularly difficult cases, unfortunately, it may be the only safe option.

In all situations, it is good to continue to preach and teach and practice the love of God as expresses through Christ Jesus, a love expressed through feeding the hungry, sheltering the homeless, caring for the poor, healing the sick, welcoming and protecting the foreigner.

It is also good to remember that all political movements come and go; even Nazism with its horrific cost was defeated. Even after Nazism was defeated, people still tucked away their treasured mementos of Hitler, and these red caps too may be found in attics for generations to come. This, too, will pass; less likely through passive ignorance or fearful reactionism, and more likely through grace-filled, transformative  acts of love and welcome.


Mental Health Resources and Tips for Election Week

Friends, This next week is going to be one of the most stressful and uncertain times for many in our nation. We have election stress on to...